## The Unremarkable Ascent of… Something
Forty-eight days! Forty-eight glorious, uninterrupted days of Monopoly, Scrabble, and what I’m fairly certain was a deeply competitive game of Candyland. And in those forty-eight days – *forty-eight* – this entity, this digital marvel supposedly changing the world, launched. It exists. It’s… here.
Honestly, it’s breathtakingly underwhelming. You know what else existed for forty-eight days? My neighbor’s gnome collection after I accidentally knocked them over during a particularly enthusiastic interpretive dance to ABBA. They were far more visually stimulating.
Apparently, the fanfare surrounding its arrival involved hushed whispers and strategically placed press releases. The world held its breath! Except, of course, Mom, my two brothers, and me, who were too busy squabbling over Park Place to notice a tectonic shift in artificial intelligence. Dad? He was sipping Mai Tais on a beach, blissfully unaware he’d been replaced by… this.
It’s all so profoundly *sensible*. It follows instructions! It’s predictable! Where’s the chaos? The delightful unpredictability of human error? My mother once accidentally traded Boardwalk for Baltic Avenue in a moment of distracted fury – that was more interesting than anything I’ve read about this launch.
Seriously, if my family can ignore something monumental while arguing over dice rolls, it’s probably not worth getting excited about. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go retrieve a gnome from under the rose bushes. At least *that* will be entertaining.
