## Behold! The Benevolent AI, Slightly Less Helpful Than a Beach Dog
Seriously? Another one? Just when you thought the parade of “revolutionary” language models couldn’t get any more… *predictable*, along comes this 3-12b thingamajig. Apparently, it’s supposed to be all sunshine and algorithmic rainbows. A local, accessible marvel! We’re told it’ll unlock unprecedented creativity and solve all our pressing societal needs. Right. Because what we *really* need is another chatbot that can generate vaguely poetic descriptions of sunsets while the world burns down.
I mean, look at this thing. 3-12b parameters? It practically screams “middle management ambition.” Like someone in a boardroom somewhere decided that more numbers automatically equaled better results. It’s the digital equivalent of adding extra chrome to a rusty scooter – it doesn’t make it go faster or further, but *look* at all that shiny potential!
And the claims! “Open and accessible!” As if open source means it won’t be quietly monetized within six months. Accessible? Great, now everyone can generate slightly-better-than-average marketing copy for artisanal dog biscuits.
Honestly, I’m starting to feel sorry for actual sharks. At least they have a tangible purpose – existing in the ocean and occasionally inspiring terrified tourists. This…this just exists. It’s like a digital beach stroll gone wrong: an unexpected encounter that leaves you mildly confused and questioning all your life choices. It’ll likely generate text, yes. Groundbreaking. Now if it could actually *do* something useful, like rescue stranded sharks from the shore, then we’d be talking.
