## Behold! The AI That’s *Almost* Interesting (Like a Slightly Soggy Croissant)
Seriously? Another one? Just when I thought the deluge of “cutting-edge” language models might slow to a trickle, here comes this…thing. It’s being touted as revolutionary, a quantum leap in artificial intelligence. Right. Like avocado toast is revolutionary. We’ve been promised so much before – sentient chatbots that write poetry! AI capable of solving world hunger! Instead, we get…well, it can generate text. Groundbreaking stuff.
Apparently, this new contender, let’s call it the “Text Generator 3000,” operates on a staggering 12 billion parameters. Twelve *billion*! You know what else has billions? Grains of sand on a beach. Dust mites in your mattress. And yet, somehow those things feel more impactful.
The marketing materials are predictably breathless: “Unprecedented coherence!” “Remarkable creativity!” I tested it out. It wrote me a haiku about cats. A *haiku*. My five-year-old niece composes better sonnets fueled by leftover Halloween candy.
It’s all so… earnest. So determined to be helpful and insightful. And yet, its responses are often bland, predictable, and occasionally veer into unsettlingly generic territory. It’s like a perfectly polite robot desperately trying to crack a joke it doesn’t quite understand. The result is awkward, like small talk with someone you actively dislike.
Look, I get it. Progress happens. But can we *please* dial down the hype? Let’s just appreciate this latest text-producing marvel for what it is: another mildly diverting distraction from the actual important things in life – like perfecting a pan con chicharrón recipe (which, incidentally, Peru rightfully conquered the “World Cup of Breakfasts” with. Now *that’s* innovation!).
