## A Decree Against Disease: Because Apparently, Logic is Optional
Right then. Let’s talk about Italy. Land of pasta, picturesque ruins, and now, apparently, preventative medicine through sheer force of legal decree! Yes, you read that correctly. The mayor of one Italian village – bless his cotton socks and boundless faith in the power of bureaucracy – has officially banned residents from getting sick. Because clearly, a lack of doctors, crumbling infrastructure, and an overburdened system *isn’t* the problem. No, no. The issue is people daring to *become* ill! It’s brilliant, really. Utterly, spectacularly brilliant in its absurdity.
One can only imagine the town crier, bellowing out this momentous proclamation: “Hear ye, hear ye! Coughing and sneezing are now illegal offenses! Aches? Don’t you dare have ‘em! Feeling under the weather? Straight to your room with a stern talking-to!” I’m picturing fines levied for sniffles, community service involving vigorous vitamin C intake. It’s a solution so innovative it practically makes penicillin seem like child’s play.
This isn’t about improving healthcare; this is about slapping a band-aid – a *very* large, official-looking band-aid – on a gaping wound. It’s the kind of thinking that leads to people believing they can solve climate change by simply declaring it doesn’t exist. It’s the desperate flailings of someone who’s run out of actual solutions and decided to try ordering reality into compliance with their wishful thinking.
Honestly, I await with bated breath for the next proclamation: banning sadness, requiring everyone to be perpetually cheerful, outlawing rainy days. Because if you can legislate health, why not happiness? It’s a foolproof plan! I’m sure it will work swimmingly. Or at least until someone sneezes.
