## Behold! A Language Model That *Almost* Gets It
Right, so we’re supposed to be impressed? Another iteration of these massive language things has arrived, and apparently it’s groundbreaking. They call it…well, let’s just say a series of letters and numbers that sound like a particularly awkward robot attempting poetry. 3-12b, they chirp. As if the number of parameters is somehow equivalent to sentience! Please. I’ve seen more nuanced conversation from my Roomba.
The promotional materials are thick with promises: “Reasoning!” “Creativity!” “A truly *useful* assistant!” Useful for what? Generating slightly less repetitive grocery lists? Crafting emails that sound vaguely human but still manage to convey a distinct lack of genuine enthusiasm? I’ve encountered chatbots that could convincingly feign outrage over misplaced socks. This…this thing just feels like a sophisticated parrot, regurgitating phrases it’s absorbed from the internet, occasionally stringing them together in ways that *seem* intelligent until you actually probe deeper.
And don’t even get me started on the claims of “open access.” It’s open access with all the grace and subtlety of a velvet rope at a nightclub. Sure, it’s technically available, but prepare to wrangle with infrastructure and licensing that would make a tax accountant weep. It’s like they built a magnificent castle then decided to only let people in on Tuesdays during a rainstorm while charging a small fortune for umbrellas.
Seriously, the world doesn’t need another algorithm designed to mimic human interaction. It needs fewer algorithms mimicking human interaction. Let’s all just go back to arguing with strangers on Twitter; at least *that* feels genuine.
