## A Technological Triumph? Please.
So, we’re supposed to be *thrilled*, are we? Absolutely beside ourselves with excitement? Apparently, a new large language model has arrived – let’s just call it “The Thing” for now – and everyone is losing their minds. It can generate text! It can answer questions! It can… well, probably do whatever we tell it to, as long as that involves regurgitating information already floating around the internet. Groundbreaking. Truly revolutionary.
I mean, seriously. We’ve reached peak absurdity. Remember when everyone freaked out about calculators? “They’ll replace mathematicians!” they cried. Turns out, they just made doing long division a little less soul-crushing. This feels… similar. A shiny new toy designed to distract us from the very real problems plaguing humanity – like, say, baby groundhogs getting tangled in batting cage nets and requiring heroic animal control interventions.
Because that’s what’s important now, isn’t it? Not rescuing wildlife. Not addressing climate change. Nope! We need a machine to write haikus about kittens. I envision a future where AI-generated poetry replaces actual human connection – a world overflowing with technically proficient but emotionally barren verse about fluffy animals and sunsets.
And the sheer *size* of this thing! A 3.12 billion parameter model? That’s… a lot of numbers, isn’t it? It consumes more energy than my entire apartment building just to exist. I bet those parameters could be used to calculate exactly how many baby raccoons are wandering around Massachusetts needing rescuing. Now *that* would be a useful application!
Don’t get me wrong, technological advancement is fine. But let’s not pretend this isn’t another example of humans patting themselves on the back for creating something… ultimately superfluous. Give me a raccoon rescue over a perfectly formatted paragraph any day.
