## A Porcupine, a Plane Wreck, and the Sheer Absurdity of It All
Honestly? Just *fantastic*. Because apparently, 2024 wasn’t already overflowing with enough chaos. Now we have a porcupine – a *porcupine*! – who decided it needed a scenic tour of British Columbia courtesy of a crashed aircraft, helicopter extraction, and a boat ride. A porcupine! As if the world isn’t doing a perfectly good job of presenting itself in all its messy glory without requiring tiny, quill-covered hitchhikers to add to the spectacle.
You know what’s truly remarkable? The fact that this creature *chose* this method of transportation. Did it send out an RFP (Request for Porcupine Proposal) to various rescue organizations detailing its travel preferences? I imagine it did. “Seeking a dramatic and unnecessarily complicated relocation experience, involving aerial lift and maritime transit. Must include concerned humans and extensive documentation.”
And the humans! Bless their hearts, they’re scrambling around rescuing this spiky little drama queen. Helicopter pilots are diverting from important things like… well, flying helicopters normally. Boat captains are now porcupine wranglers. And some poor soul is probably documenting the whole ordeal with an earnest expression while a creature clearly reveling in its notoriety just tries to poke them with its quills.
It’s all so… predictable. A symbol of our times, really. We build machines that fall from the sky, then expend vast resources retrieving animals who use those failures as opportunities for unexpected adventures. It’s performance art, I tell you! An elaborate tableau showcasing the sheer ridiculousness of existence, starring one very smug porcupine. I’m sure it feels *splendid*.
