## So, Apparently We’re Buying States Now? Excellent.
Honestly, at this point, why not? Greenland? Really? Like that’s a sensible geopolitical maneuver? It’s frozen tundra! A logistical nightmare! And now, because someone somewhere got spooked by the idea of another country owning some ice, *we* are apparently in the market for landmasses. Fantastic. Just what the global economy needed: more international property speculation.
And then the internet, bless its chaotic little heart, decided to one-up this absurdity. A petition to buy California for Denmark? Two hundred thousand signatures?! People, I’m trying not to laugh until my sides ache. It’s peak satire, isn’t it? The perfect distillation of our collective exhaustion with… well, everything.
Let’s be clear: I fully support this initiative. Imagine! Danish pastries and hygge in Hollywood! Fjords replacing freeways! Suddenly, everyone speaks impeccable Danish (or at least *tries* to). It would solve so many problems. The cost of living? Solved with efficient Scandinavian urban planning. Political gridlock? Replaced by a pragmatic consensus-building approach honed over centuries. Avocado toast? Probably still expensive, but at least it’ll be accompanied by delicious rye bread.
The sheer audacity of the suggestion is magnificent. It’s a glorious middle finger to the idea that international relations need to be serious and rational. Because frankly, who needs seriousness when you can have the potential for an incredibly awkward state dinner featuring pickled herring?
I fully expect Denmark to accept this gift with polite bewilderment. And I’m already practicing my “Tak” and bracing myself for a tidal wave of miniature Lego men. Seriously, someone get me some licorice. This is going to be… something.
