## Queensland’s Brilliant Plan: Let’s All Get a Wild Dog!
Right, let’s just unpack this, shall we? Apparently, the fine minds in Queensland are now contemplating allowing dingoes – *dingoes*, people! – to be kept as household pets. Because clearly, what every suburban family needs is a semi-feral predator with an insatiable appetite for unattended sandwiches and small children. It’s just brilliant, isn’t it? Truly visionary leadership at work here.
I mean, think of the benefits! No more boring walks in the park; you can *chase* your dingo through the neighbourhood, dodging startled mail carriers and traumatised squirrels. Forget expensive obedience classes – you’ll be negotiating with a creature whose instincts haven’t evolved past “snatch shiny thing and bury it.” And house training? Well, that’s just a charming opportunity to strategically landscape your yard with…organic fertilizer.
Seriously though, this proposal is peak absurdity. Are we honestly lacking in pressing issues – climate change, affordable housing, the alarming rise of avocado toast prices – but instead, we’re prioritizing the potential for a surge in emergency room visits due to dingo-related incidents? It’s almost poetic in its ridiculousness.
One can only imagine the justifications. “It will boost tourism!” they’ll say. Tourists flocking from across the globe specifically to witness a suburban skirmish between a fluffy poodle and a creature bred for survival, apparently. Or perhaps, “It will educate children about wildlife!” Because what better way to learn respect for nature than by having it chew on your sofa?
I’m genuinely waiting for the inevitable headline: “Local Family Forced to Relocate After Dingo Develops Taste for Garden Gnomes.” This isn’t progress; it’s a recipe for chaos, wrapped in a fluffy tail and delivered with a disconcerting grin.
