## Behold, the AI That’s Probably Already Judged Your Playlist
Right. An eight-year-old is now officially the world’s youngest drone videographer. Wonderful. Absolutely *wonderful*. Because apparently, we needed another accolade for a child demonstrating a skill that was already mildly impressive. I mean, sure, it’s cute. A tiny human manipulating machinery from above! Let’s shower them in praise while simultaneously ignoring the fact that adults are still struggling to parallel park. Progress!
And speaking of things we’re celebrating prematurely… let’s talk about this new language model. You know, *that* one. The one that promises to revolutionize… well, something. Because “revolutionize” is the buzzword these days, isn’t it? Everything’s revolutionary! My toaster is probably revolutionary now.
It generates text, they say. Beautiful, flowing text. Apparently, it can even write poetry. *Poetry*, people! I suspect its lyrical masterpieces are just regurgitated lines from Emily Dickinson cleverly arranged to sound vaguely original. I’m waiting for the moment it starts subtly judging my writing based on some algorithmically determined metric of “goodness.” “Your use of commas is… suboptimal.” Thanks, bot. Very helpful.
Honestly, I’m picturing a future where this thing writes all our emails and then sends us passive-aggressive feedback about our tone. “Subject: Re: Meeting Agenda – Your phrasing lacks gravitas.” Fantastic! Just what I needed – an AI to manage my professional anxieties.
It’s supposed to be…helpful. Right. It’ll probably start suggesting I trade in my current hobbies for more “productive” ones, like learning quantum physics or optimizing my sock drawer. Because apparently, that’s what a helpful algorithm *does*.
