## Behold! The AI That Sounds Like It’s Reading a Slightly Annoyed Instruction Manual
Right, let’s talk about this… *thing*. This 3-12 billion parameter language model everyone is apparently losing their minds over. Apparently, it’s supposed to be revolutionary? Groundbreaking? Let me tell you something, folks, I’ve seen more excitement generated by a lukewarm cup of instant coffee.
It’s charmingly bland. It churns out text with the enthusiasm of a tax accountant explaining depreciation schedules. You ask it a question – any question! – and it responds with the precision of a robot reciting a grocery list: “Here is an answer…followed by another sentence…and finally, a conclusion.” Riveting. Truly. I’m on the edge of my seat.
And don’t even get me started on the “open-weight” aspect! As if suddenly releasing something into the wild, barely capable of stringing together a coherent haiku without existential angst, is some grand act of generosity. It feels less like sharing and more like dumping a slightly malfunctioning appliance onto your neighbor’s lawn. “Here! Have it! Good luck!”
Seriously, I posed it a question about the absurdity of 7,782 lottery tickets all hitting 5-5-5. You know, a *genuine* moment of improbable statistical chaos? It responded with a meticulously worded explanation of probability and random number generation. As if that’s what I wanted! I was looking for wit, irony, maybe even a little existential dread about the universe’s cruel sense of humor! Instead, I got textbook definitions.
It’s like it’s actively trying to be… helpful? How utterly tedious. Someone needs to teach this thing how to be delightfully sarcastic. Until then, I’ll stick with my cat’s judgemental stares – they offer far more entertainment value.
