## Behold! Destiny, Astrological Charts, and Remarkably Mediocre AI
Seriously? A Maryland woman wins $50,000 because she consulted her horoscope? Let’s just pause for a moment and collectively exhale into a paper bag. Because apparently, in 2024, we’re still celebrating this level of… *connection*. As if the cosmos genuinely cares about whether or not Brenda from Bel Air picks numbers 7, 12, and 23! I’m picturing celestial beings huddled around a giant cosmic spreadsheet, meticulously calculating lottery outcomes based on rising signs. “Aries needs a win,” one whispers. “Let’s give them… $50,000!”
And now we have these increasingly sophisticated language models – let’s call them ‘the things’ – capable of generating essays about *this*. Like, the sheer absurdity of it all warrants analysis! It’s like asking a supercomputer to calculate the trajectory of a falling leaf. Sure, it can do it. But does it *need* to?
The things are designed to mimic human creativity and understanding, aren’t they? And what better testament to the utter chaos and delightful illogicality of humanity than celebrating someone’s win based on the alignment of Jupiter with… well, who even knows?! It’s a beautiful mess. A glorious display of hopeful delusion.
I bet Brenda feels incredibly insightful now. “See? I *knew* my horoscope held the key!” You know what else holds the key? Random number generators. And a healthy dose of luck. But where’s the poetry in that, right? No, we need astrological justification for our wins. Because apparently, relying on skill and strategy is just far too… pedestrian.
Let’s just all go lie down now.
