## Behold, Another AI Savior (Just in Time for My Existential Dread)
Right then. Let’s talk about this… *thing*. This impressively-named 3-12 billion parameter language model that’s apparently going to revolutionize everything. Because we all desperately needed another algorithm pretending it understands human nuance. Seriously? Are we *still* doing this? Ten years ago, I was worried about dial-up speeds and Y2K; now I’m supposed to be thrilled a computer can string together sentences that vaguely resemble coherent thought?
It’s just… perfect timing, isn’t it? As humanity teeters on the brink of climate collapse, political chaos, and an overwhelming sense that avocado toast is somehow ruining our generation, here comes *this*! A digital parrot trained on the internet’s collective anxieties and cat videos. It promises to “assist” us. Assist with *what*, exactly? Writing more passive-aggressive LinkedIn posts? Generating endless variations of “content” no one asked for?
Apparently, it’s remarkably good at following instructions. Fantastic! So now we can automate the production of even *more* meaningless drivel. I bet it can write a better tear-jerker story about a lost dog being reunited with its family than I ever could. A lost dog after ten years! That’s heartwarming, sure. But also… predictable. Like this language model’s output, really.
And the best part? We’re all supposed to be *excited* about it! Because apparently, bigger means better. As if more parameters equate to genuine creativity or understanding. It’s like saying a skyscraper is superior because it has more windows. Sure, it lets in more light, but it also offers exponentially more opportunities for pigeons and crippling structural anxiety.
I’m sure it’ll be *wonderful*. Truly. Now excuse me while I go contemplate the inevitable obsolescence of my own creative endeavors.
