## Behold! A Giant, Digital Egg Has Landed (and It’s Supposedly Helpful?)
So, naturally, after a tornado rips through Indianapolis – because why *shouldn’t* Mother Nature be involved in this increasingly ridiculous saga? – we get…a digital dome. A shimmering, vaguely unsettling orb of code-based promise. Apparently, it’s the latest offering from those people building ever-larger language models. They call it something with numbers and letters; let’s just refer to it as “The Egg.”
Because that’s precisely what it is: a giant, metaphorical egg plopped down in the middle of our post-storm debris field, presumably intended to hatch into…what? A helpful chatbot? A source of profound wisdom? Don’t hold your breath.
We’re told this “Egg” can write poems and summarize documents. Groundbreaking stuff! I mean, I’ve been struggling for years to craft a haiku about the existential dread of overflowing recycling bins, and *now* there’s an algorithm that can do it for me? Wonderful. Truly.
And the best part? It’s supposed to be “open.” As if the sheer existence of another complex system requiring vast computing power and dedicated teams isn’t already a bit closed off from the average person! Open source, they say. More like open *to* us, while they sit in their silicon-lined bunkers laughing about how easily we accept these increasingly elaborate digital trinkets.
Frankly, I’m expecting it to start generating weather forecasts predicting more tornadoes – because what better way to prove its usefulness than by forecasting disaster? Just…please, don’t let The Egg start suggesting solutions. I really don’t need an algorithm telling me how to rebuild my fence.
