## Behold! The AI That’s Almost… Something?
So, we have a new language model. *Another* one. You know, because clearly the internet wasn’t already overflowing with them like discarded plastic flamingos after a hurricane. Apparently, this particular creation, let’s call it “The Thing,” is supposed to be… special. A little less monstrously large, they claim. Easier to run on your average laptop. Like we needed *another* reason to spend all day staring at screens and feeling vaguely inadequate.
Seriously, folks, the hype! They’re practically handing out participation trophies for producing something that can string together a coherent sentence. It’s like celebrating someone who finally remembered to put their shoes on before leaving the house. Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. *Please*.
I’m told it’s “open-source,” which, in tech-speak, translates to: “We built this thing, now you can help fix all the inevitable problems we created while simultaneously feeling guilty about using it for anything vaguely creative.” It’s a beautiful system, really. A digital barn raising where everyone brings their own existential dread.
And don’t even get me started on the breathless descriptions of its capabilities! “Generates text!” Yes, *really*? I thought we were communicating with advanced robots already. My toaster oven is capable of generating heat, does that make it a technological marvel?
Look, I’m not entirely against progress. But at this point, releasing another AI feels less like innovation and more like an elaborate performance piece designed to distract us from the impending doom of climate change – you know, the thing that’s currently sending those poor sea turtles into cold-stunned shock. At least *they* have a legitimate reason for being vulnerable.
