## Behold! Sentience (Sort Of) for $36 Billion and a Whole Lotta Hype
Seriously? A language model that’s “open?” As if anything produced by a corporation with enough money to buy Greenland is ever truly *open*. It’s like saying your pet goldfish has freedom of movement – it can swim in its bowl, sure, but let’s not pretend it’s trekking across the Sahara. This… this thing, boasting 3.12 billion parameters (because numbers are apparently more impressive than actual usefulness), is being lauded as a revolutionary step forward? Please.
We’ve been here before. Remember when every other tech company was promising us AI that would solve world hunger and write poetry better than Shakespeare? We ended up with glorified chatbots that hallucinate facts, perpetuate biases, and occasionally produce sentences so baffling they could induce existential dread. And now we have *this*.
Apparently, the key to unlocking this “miraculous” creation wasn’t groundbreaking innovation; it was… massive scale. Throw enough data at a neural network, train it for long enough, and voilà! You’ve got something that can generate surprisingly coherent text. It’s astonishingly unremarkable, like discovering water is wet.
The press releases are practically vibrating with breathless pronouncements about its potential. “Accessible to researchers!” they crow. As if researchers haven’t been building impressive language models for years – just not ones burdened with the crushing weight of corporate expectation and a need to justify a multi-billion dollar investment. It’s a remarkable feat of engineering, undoubtedly. But let’s not mistake it for sentience. Let’s not pretend this isn’t just another expensive party trick. And *please*, someone stop calling it “revolutionary.” My cynicism can only handle so much.
