## A Model Citizen? More Like a Mouthy Motorcyclist and… What, Exactly?
Right then, let’s talk about this thing. This *thing* they’re calling a “large language model.” Apparently, it exists. And apparently, its crowning achievement is being compared to a Saudi Arabian man who performed a wheelie longer than the Leaning Tower of Pisa while holding a handlebar in his mouth. Seriously? Is that the bar we’ve set now? Are we measuring progress in terms of stunts requiring questionable levels of dental fortitude and defying basic physics?
I mean, I get it. We need something to grasp onto when faced with algorithms churning out text. A motorcyclist doing a ludicrous wheelie is *relatable*. It’s visually arresting. It’s… well, it involves a motorcycle. But does that have anything to do with generating coherent prose? Apparently, according to the marketing team, yes. “This model performs at a similar level!” they proclaim, as if holding something precariously in your teeth is a benchmark for linguistic proficiency.
Don’t misunderstand me – the motorcyclist is undeniably impressive. A thousand feet of wheelie! Bravo! But equating that with… *this*… it’s just peak absurdity. It screams “We have no real metrics, so let’s distract everyone with spectacle!”
I suspect the real reason for this comparison is someone in a boardroom thought, “Motorcycles are cool! Young people like motorcycles! Let’s associate our vaguely-defined AI thing with motorcycles!” Genius, truly. Next they’ll be comparing its ability to summarize complex documents to competitive hot dog eating contests. I wouldn’t put it past them.
Honestly, I’m just waiting for the press release announcing that this marvel of modern computation can now balance on a unicycle while reciting Shakespeare. Because if it can’t, where’s the progress?
