Des Moines Decides That Backyard Chickens Need a Pecking Order
In an egg-citing turn of events, the city of Des Moines, Iowa, has decided to lay down the law when it comes to its feathered residents. After a group of diehard chicken enthusiasts made a clucking fuss by parading their feathered friends around City Hall on Monday, officials have taken it upon themselves to establish a new pecking order for backyard chickens and roosters.
The streets of Des Moines were a-flutter with excitement as the passionate poultry fans strutted their stuff, feathers flying and squawks echoing through the air. Bystanders were left in awe of the majestic display of chicken power, as the feathered flock proudly made their way to City Hall to demand their rights.
After a heated debate that had all the drama of a daytime soap opera, city officials have finally hatched a plan to regulate the presence of chickens and roosters in backyard coops. The new rules will determine which breeds are deemed worthy of living their best lives in the city limits, and which will be left scratching for scraps on the outskirts.
The pecking order will be based on a variety of factors, including noise levels, coop cleanliness, and egg production rates. Those chickens and roosters that meet the city’s criteria for top-notch backyard living will be allowed to bask in the glory of urban life, while others will be left to cluck their regrets in the rural wilderness.
One resident, who goes by the name of “Eggbert the Magnificent,” was quoted as saying, “It’s about time those lackadaisical city folk recognized the superior intelligence and charm of us chickens. We deserve to rule the roost, and now we finally have our chance!”
Not everyone in Des Moines is thrilled about the new regulations, however. Some residents argue that the city is putting too many eggs in one basket by focusing so much attention on its feathered population. They believe that resources would be better spent on issues such as traffic congestion or public school funding.
Despite the squawks of dissent, the city council remains firm in its decision to establish this new pecking order. Officials believe that by carefully curating the types of chickens and roosters allowed within city limits, they can create a more harmonious and efficient urban environment for all residents – feathered and non-feathered alike.
So, let this be a lesson to all chickens and roosters in Des Moines: spread your wings, but do so within the strict confines of the city’s new pecking order. And remember, the early bird catches the worm – or in this case, the city council’s approval.
