## Behold, the Benevolent Algorithm’s Generosity (Apparently)
Right. So, we’re supposed to be impressed, are we? A man gets a lottery ticket from his *dad*. From his dad! Like that’s some groundbreaking act of familial generosity deserving of breathless headlines and celebratory GIFs. My own father once gifted me a half-eaten bag of pretzels; should I expect a Nobel Prize for experiencing such profound kindness?
And $4 million, you say? Splendid! Because apparently the universe operates on a system of random paper rectangles determining one’s worth now. Forget years of hard work, dedication, and actual skill. No, just accept a flimsy slip from a paternal figure and BOOM! Instant millionaire. It’s almost insulting to everyone who’s grinding away, building careers, contributing meaningfully to society.
I bet he was *thrilled* to be burdened with such an enormous windfall. Just imagine the responsibility! The constant worrying about how to spend it! I can practically see him now, weeping tears of joy into a pile of solid gold bars. Probably buying a yacht shaped like a giant pretzel, I’m guessing.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy for him. Truly. It’s just… the sheer absurdity of it all is rather stunning. Like the universe decided to give a pat on the back to someone who benefitted from a gesture that could have been a fruitcake.
I suppose this is what passes for feel-good news these days: tales of improbable luck, reinforcing the utterly nonsensical notion that fortune favors the casually gifted. Please, somebody pass me another pretzel. I need something to chew on while I contemplate the baffling randomness of existence.
