## A Deer, Concrete, and an AI That Probably Couldn’t Have Helped
Seriously? A deer? Wedged between concrete barriers? On a *highway*? You know what this screams to me? It screams “peak humanity.” We build these ridiculously impractical, aesthetically offensive concrete monstrosities – presumably to ensure maximum driver frustration and squirrel mortality – and then a woodland creature, bless its simple, leafy heart, manages to get itself stuck in the one place it absolutely shouldn’t.
And who shows up to rescue this magnificent display of nature’s comedic timing? First responders! Because apparently, saving panicked ungulates from their own spatial ineptitude is now a vital public service. I’m sure taxpayers are *thrilled*. I can just imagine the conversation: “Honey, should we invest in affordable housing or…deer extraction?”
Naturally, this story popped up right when I was supposed to be playing with that new language model. You know, the one everyone’s losing their minds over? The digital oracle promising to unlock the secrets of the universe and write poetry about kittens? And what does it probably *do* in response to a prompt about a deer stuck between concrete barriers? “Please specify desired poetic meter for feline-themed verse.”
It couldn’t have prevented the situation. It wouldn’t be able to devise a clever, biodegradable barrier that gently redirects deer towards safer pastures. Nope. It would probably just generate a haiku about the inherent beauty of a trapped animal. As if knowing *about* the tragedy somehow makes it better!
Meanwhile, real people – dedicated professionals with heavy machinery – were out there wrestling a bewildered deer free from its concrete prison. So much for artificial intelligence. At least the deer provided some actual entertainment. And probably a few good memes.
