## Oh Joy! Another AI Model Emerges, Because We Clearly Needed More
Right then. Let’s talk about this… *thing*. This freshly baked digital marvel they’re all fawning over: a 3.12 billion parameter language model. Apparently, it’s going to revolutionize everything. Again. You know, just like the last ten of these promised revolutions did. Because clearly, the world desperately needed another algorithm capable of stringing together vaguely coherent sentences and regurgitating information scraped from the internet.
Honestly, the fanfare surrounding this is enough to make you choke on your artisanal avocado toast. “Open source!” they cry! As if open source automatically equates to benevolent savior of humanity. It just means someone got bored and decided to release a slightly different flavor of existing tech. We’ve seen it before. We’ll see it again.
And the claims! Oh, the *claims*. Capable of “creative text formats,” apparently. As if Shakespeare was waiting for this digital deity to bestow upon him the gift of iambic pentameter. I’m picturing a chorus of poets weeping into their parchment, suddenly rendered obsolete by a program that can mimic their style… poorly.
It’s all so delightfully predictable. The breathless anticipation, the hyperbolic praise, the inevitable letdown when it inevitably fails to solve climate change or write your novel for you. Meanwhile, back in Seattle, some enterprising pranksters are using *actual* technology (a microphone and a recording) to have more of an impact than this digital echo chamber ever will. A Bezos voice impersonation on a crosswalk button is arguably more disruptive and hilarious. At least it’s *something*.
Just… please, can we all collectively agree to dial down the excitement? We’ve got enough existential dread already without another algorithm whispering sweet nothings of technological progress into our ears.
