Michigan Zoo Welcomes Another Mundane Arrival with the Birth of Yet Another Pygmy Hippo Calf
In what can only be described as an exhilarating turn of events at the Sleepy Hollow Zoo in Michigan, zookeepers have announced the birth of a pygmy hippo calf. The calf, whose name has yet to be decided because, let’s face it, who really cares, was born on a particularly uneventful Tuesday morning, much to the delight of a handful of zoo visitors who happened to be passing by.
While most newborn animals are met with oohs and aahs from the public, this pygmy hippo calf’s arrival seemed to evoke a response that can only be described as a resounding “meh.” Sure, it’s cute and all, but let’s be honest, it’s no baby panda. Or even a baby polar bear for that matter.
Zookeeper Karen Smith, whose excitement could barely be contained as she delivered the underwhelming news, gushed about the calf’s arrival. “We are thrilled to welcome this precious addition to our pygmy hippo family,” said Smith, who clearly needs to recalibrate her definition of “thrilled.” “The calf and its mother are both in good health and are bonding beautifully.”
Of course, the birth of any new animal is a cause for celebration, or so we’ve been told. But given the sheer number of births that take place in zoos around the world on a daily basis, it’s getting increasingly difficult to muster up the same level of enthusiasm for each and every one. Personally, I’m still waiting for the day someone gives birth to a unicorn or a dragon. Now that would be news.
In an attempt to drum up some interest in the pygmy hippo calf, the zoo has announced a naming contest, inviting the public to submit their suggestions for what to call the newest addition. Suggestions so far have ranged from the uninspired “Hippo McHippoface” to the slightly more creative “Pygmy Pat,” but honestly, does it even matter what this calf is called? It’s not like it’s going to respond to its name or anything.
Despite the lackluster response to the birth, the Sleepy Hollow Zoo is hoping that the pygmy hippo calf will draw in some much-needed visitors. After all, nothing screams “come visit our zoo” quite like a pint-sized hippopotamus that most people didn’t even know existed.
As the world collectively shrugs its shoulders at the news of yet another baby animal entering the world, one thing is for certain: the circle of life continues to turn, bringing with it an endless parade of adorable, yet ultimately forgettable, creatures. And for the Sleepy Hollow Zoo, it’s just another day in the wild and wildly unexciting world of exotic animal births.
