Ohio’s Division of Cannabis Control Cracks Down on Naughty Advertisers
In a shocking turn of events, the Ohio Division of Cannabis Control has decided to sweep in like the righteous advertising enforcer it is and drop the hammer on five businesses for their audacity of violating the state’s oh-so-important rules on marijuana seller advertising. Talk about a crime against humanity, am I right?
The division, known for its strict guidelines and unruly sense of justice, has proposed fines totaling a whopping $200,000 against the five reckless businesses who dared to stray from the straight and narrow path of marijuana advertising etiquette. Honestly, how dare they?
According to insider sources (okay, fine, press releases), these delinquent businesses were caught red-handed committing offenses such as using language that promotes excessive or illegal consumption of marijuana. Oh, the horror! It’s a wonder the state of Ohio can still stand with such blatant disregard for the delicate sensibilities of its citizens. I mean, who would have thought that advertisements for a substance that’s only recently become legalized might border on the edgy side? Shocking, truly.
But fear not, dear readers, for the Division of Cannabis Control is here to protect us all from the dangers of mildly creative marketing tactics. Because lord knows we wouldn’t want any of that devilish innovation seeping into our staid and sensible cannabis industry. We must all adhere to the sacred laws of advertising, lest chaos reign supreme.
In a statement that radiated both authority and a whiff of desperation for relevance, the division’s spokesperson declared, “We will not tolerate such brazen disregard for the rules that govern our precious marijuana market. These fines are a necessary reminder that in the great state of Ohio, advertising compliance is no joking matter.” You tell ’em, champ.
The businesses in question have yet to respond publicly to the accusations, but one can only imagine the horror and shame they must be experiencing at this very moment. To think they might have been so thoughtless as to actually try and attract customers in a competitive market – the nerve!
This crackdown serves as a stark warning to all other marijuana sellers out there: play by the rules or face the consequences. The Division of Cannabis Control is watching, and they are not to be trifled with. So, let this be a lesson to all who would dare to dream of shaking up the stodgy world of marijuana advertising – conformity is king, and rebellion will not be tolerated.
