“Kangaroo on the Loose Again: Because Who Needs Personal Space, Anyway?”
For the second time in as many years, a kangaroo named Gemma has made a break for it and is currently hopping its way around Colorado. Because who needs personal space, anyway? We mean, seriously, have you ever tried to get a decent selfie with a ‘roo photobombing your shot?
Gemma’s first great escape last year was so thrilling that it even made national news (or at least our tiny corner of the internet). And now she’s back, and we’re pretty sure she’s on some sort of mission to rid the world of human awkwardness one poorly-timed hop at a time.
According to eyewitnesses, Gemma was spotted hopping down Main Street, causing pedestrians to scatter like, well, kangaroos on steroids. “It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before!” said local resident Jane Smith. “I mean, have you ever tried to take a selfie with a ‘roo photobombing your shot? It’s basically the most Australian thing that could happen!”
As authorities scrambled to recapture the errant marsupial, residents of Colorado Springs were left scratching their heads and wondering what exactly was going on. “Uh, did someone let the zoo animals out again?” asked another bewildered bystander.
We’re not sure if Gemma has a personal vendetta against humans or is just really into extreme sports (extreme hopping, perhaps?), but one thing’s for sure: she’s got some serious moves. According to eyewitness accounts, she was able to clear entire buildings in one bound and leave a trail of destruction (okay, maybe not destruction, exactly – more like a trail of fluffy, adorable chaos).
Meanwhile, the authorities are still trying to figure out how Gemma managed to escape again. “It’s like she has a PhD in Hopping Away from Capture,” said one frustrated officer. “We’re starting to think she’s just trolling us at this point.”
Gemma’s last known whereabouts were somewhere near a local park, where she was spotted munching on some seriously impressive-looking leaves (we’re no experts, but we’re pretty sure those aren’t even the same type of leaves they serve at the zoo).
All joking aside, though – someone please tell us how to get our paws on that adorable little joey! We want one for ourselves, stat!
Stay tuned for further updates on Gemma’s Great Escape 2.0 (working title).
