Cleveland Metroparks Zoo Calls Upon Public to Engage in Creatively Naming Critically Endangered Rhino Calf
In a groundbreaking move that surely no one saw coming, the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo in Ohio has decided to ask the general public for their keen insights and witticisms in naming a baby rhinoceros. Yes, you heard that correctly – a baby rhinoceros. Because clearly, there are no more pressing matters at hand that require human attention and brainpower than coming up with a moniker for a horned creature that will spend its days munching on grass and taking mud baths.
The zoo, seemingly getting a bit too big for its britches, is calling upon the expertise of the community to help bestow a suitable title upon the young, dangerously endangered eastern black rhino. Because who better to entrust this weighty responsibility to than a bunch of random people who have likely never even set foot in the zoo, let alone interacted with a rhino in real life?
As if the fate of this majestic creature depended on whether it is named “Rex” or “Cupcake,” the zoo has released a statement inviting the public to submit their most creative and original suggestions for the calf’s name. Because, of course, a rhino’s self-esteem and sense of identity is deeply tied to the label that humans assign to it – or so the zookeepers would have you believe.
In a bid to drum up excitement and engage the masses in this groundbreaking naming endeavor, the zoo has even gone so far as to set up an online submission form for eager participants to send in their proposals. We can only imagine the flood of submissions they will receive, ranging from the predictable “Rhiny McRhinoFace” to the more offbeat “Hornald Trump.”
Amidst the chaos of a global pandemic, political unrest, and environmental crises, it is truly heartening to see that the folks at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo have their priorities straight. Forget about saving the rainforests or tackling climate change – what we really need to focus on is making sure that baby rhinos have a suitable name that reflects their inner rhinoness.
In a world where rhinos are facing extinction due to poaching and habitat loss, one can’t help but wonder if perhaps the efforts and resources could be better spent on actual conservation initiatives rather than on a glorified naming contest. But hey, who are we to judge the wisdom of those who have dedicated their lives to caring for and protecting these magnificent creatures?
So, dear readers, if you ever find yourself overcome with the desire to leave your mark on the world and make a lasting impact, look no further than the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo’s call to action. Because we all know that in the grand scheme of things, the name of a baby rhino is what truly matters most.
