**Local Man Declares Home a ‘Ghostbusters’ Museum, Inhabiting a Shrine to Shlock Cinema**
In a stunning breakthrough for the realms of fandom and avant-garde home décor, a British man has transformed his dwelling into what he graciously refers to as a “Ghostbusters museum.” David P. Winston, a 37-year-old self-proclaimed “Ghostbusters superfan” from the quaint town of Chesterfield, has amassed a stunning collection of 2,012 items that may or may not have any actual bearing on a rich, fulfilling life.
“I just love the movies,” Winston gushed, proudly displaying his pent-up affection through meticulously curated rows of action figures, novelty proton packs, and—just to really drive home the point—socks emblazoned with the film’s logo. “Being here is like living in a shrine to the greatest cinematic triumph of all time—a cinematic masterpiece, if you will.”
Who wouldn’t want to return home after a long day of work to a cacophony of plastic ghosts and cardboard cutouts? The sweet scent of nostalgia permeates the air, or perhaps that’s just the lingering odor of expired takeout. Either way, Winston’s place is undeniably a tribute to all things ‘Ghostbusters.’ The pièce de résistance? A giant inflatable Stay Puft Marshmallow Man that currently looms over his living room, forever watching, as if judging all who enter.
Indeed, his collection comes complete with an overwhelming assortment of unopened action figures—because, obviously, they are far too precious to face the real world, let alone endure the indignity of being played with. “You’ve got to respect the integrity of the packaging,” he explained, as his eyes glazed over at the sight of his lovingly collected relics. “They’re actually investments—just like stocks, but cooler.”
Friends and family members are reportedly thrilled by the museum-esque setup. “I can’t even tell you how great it is to socialize here,” admitted Sarah, his slightly baffled sister. “It’s basically like every time I visit I’m sucked into a vortex. I mean, what’s cooler than reliving your childhood while also catching glimpses of your adult sibling’s existential crisis?” She struggled to hide her amusement as she navigated around the expanses of collectible junk.
In a bold twist, Winston discovered an unexpected side effect of living amidst his beloved franchise. “I have a lot of weird interactions with delivery people now,” he chuckled. “One time, a courier asked me if this was a prop house for a movie, and I just about passed out from the thrill!” Speculation looms as to whether he actually will ever venture outside his ghost-laden fortress, but locals assert they often catch a glimpse of chickens running for their lives down the street whenever he dons his homemade Ghostbusters jumpsuit.
Despite the dramatic collapse of his social life, Winston remains optimistic. He earnestly believes his collection will one day outdo that of true world-renowned museums. “I’m just a few hundred more pieces away, and then I’m totally on par with the British Museum. They might finally start giving me tours!”
So, as long as the spirits of childhood innocence and questionable life choices remain intact, Winston will proudly continue to call his living room a ‘museum,’ blissfully unaware of the outside world where real-life responsibilities loom ever closer—much like a spectral presence, perhaps.
