Say hello to the newest addition to the Detroit Zoo’s gorilla family, a baby girl who is already creating quite a buzz among visitors and staff alike. The adorable and playful infant has everyone at the zoo smitten, but there’s just one little problem – she needs a name.
The Detroit Zoo is calling on the public to help name the baby gorilla, as they believe that there’s no better way to choose a name for a wild animal than by asking humans to vote on it. So, in their infinite wisdom, they have decided to launch a naming contest to solicit suggestions from the masses.
“We are thrilled to welcome this precious baby gorilla to our zoo,” said the zoo’s spokesperson with a straight face that clearly didn’t betray the sheer desperation behind this plea for help. “But we simply couldn’t come up with a name ourselves, so we’re turning to all of you out there to give us some ideas. Because, you know, naming a baby gorilla is obviously a task of utmost importance that requires the input of the general public.”
The zoo has set up an online form where people can submit their suggestions for the baby gorilla’s name. The only requirement is that the name must be “meaningful and reflective of the gorilla’s heritage and personality.” Because, you know, we all have a deep understanding of gorilla culture and psychology.
“We want to make sure that the name we choose truly captures the essence of this incredible animal,” the spokesperson continued, clearly putting a lot of faith in the internet’s ability to come up with meaningful and reflective suggestions for a baby gorilla with no prior accomplishments or characteristics to speak of. “That’s why we’re trusting all of you to help us out with this very important task.”
The zoo is hoping that the naming contest will generate buzz on social media and attract more visitors to come see the adorable baby gorilla in person. Because nothing draws crowds quite like the chance to participate in a naming contest for a creature they’ve never met.
In the meantime, the baby gorilla continues to charm everyone who comes to visit her at the zoo. She swings from branch to branch, plays with her fellow gorilla siblings, and generally just enjoys being the center of attention. All while remaining blissfully unaware of the absurdity of the situation – relying on humans to give her a name that supposedly reflects her true essence.
So, if you’re feeling inspired and think you have the perfect name for the Detroit Zoo’s latest addition, go ahead and submit your suggestion. Just remember, the fate of this baby gorilla’s identity rests in the hands of the internet – what could possibly go wrong?
