**BREAKING: TEXAS HIGHWAY SHUT DOWN BY ROGUE TANK ON THE LOOSE**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of small-town Texas scratching their heads, a flatbed trailer carrying a military tank somehow managed to lose its unusual cargo on a busy highway yesterday evening, causing a massive traffic jam that brought the entire state to a standstill.
The drama unfolded on Highway 290, where commuters were treated to the surreal sight of a M1 Abrams tank, complete with what appeared to be a giant, rusty cannon, careening out of control down the middle of the road. Witnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as drivers scrambled to get out of the way of the 70-ton behemoth.
“I was just driving to work, sipping my coffee, when suddenly there was a tank in front of me,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things on this highway before, but this was on a whole other level. I thought it was the end of the world!”
According to eyewitnesses, the tank, which was reportedly being transported to a local Army base for a “routine maintenance check,” somehow broke free from its restraints and went rolling down the highway, leaving a trail of destruction and bewildered onlookers in its wake.
“It was like something out of a movie,” said Texas Department of Public Safety spokesperson, Officer John Smith. “We’re still trying to figure out how this happened, but it appears the trailer’s tie-downs failed, and the tank made a break for it. We’re just lucky no one was seriously hurt… or killed… or turned into a human pancake.”
As authorities worked to corral the rogue tank, traffic was delayed for hours, with some drivers stuck in their cars for over three hours. “I was stuck in traffic for so long, I had time to write a novel, learn a new language, and get a root canal,” said one exasperated commuter.
The tank was eventually brought under control and towed to a secure location, but not before it had become an unlikely social media sensation, with #TexasTankTakedown trending on Twitter and memes popping up left and right.
When asked for comment, the Texas Department of Transportation released a statement saying, “We’re just glad no one was hurt, and we’re working to ensure that our highways are tank-proof from now on. And also, we’re going to need a bigger budget.”
In related news, local businesses are reporting a surge in sales of “I survived the Great Texas Tank Escape” t-shirts and souvenirs.
