**BREAKING: ROLLERCOASTER RIDER TRAUMA – THE SIX FLAGS SAGA CONTINUES**
In a heart-stopping, spine-tingling, and downright terrifying turn of events, a group of brave (or foolhardy) thrill-seekers found themselves STUCK 243 FEET IN THE AIR on the behemoth “Dragon’s Den” rollercoaster at Six Flags during a sudden and intense storm.
Eyewitnesses claim that the riders were left dangling in mid-air, clinging to their seats for dear life as the wind howled like a pack of ravenous wolves and lightning flashed across the sky like a strobe light at a rave party.
“I was just standing there, munching on a funnel cake, when suddenly I heard a collective ‘AHHHHH!’ and saw a group of people flailing their arms and screaming like they were on a never-ending, rollercoaster-induced nightmare,” said park-goer, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some crazy things in my time, but this was like something out of a disaster movie… or a bad episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’!”
The riders, who have chosen to remain anonymous (or are currently undergoing intensive therapy), were on the 10-story-tall attraction when the storm rolled in, bringing with it sustained winds of up to 60 miles per hour and a deluge of rain that would put even the most seasoned sailor to shame.
“I was just trying to enjoy the ride, and then suddenly we were stuck,” said one shaken rider, who wished to remain anonymous. “I mean, I’ve heard of ‘turbulence’ before, but this was like being on a giant, metal, thrill-seeking torture device! I thought for sure I was a goner… or at least that my lunch was going to make an unscheduled reappearance.”
Park officials, who were quick to respond to the crisis, assured riders that they would be safely evacuated… eventually. “We apologize for the inconvenience and are working to rescue the riders as soon as possible,” said a spokesperson. “In the meantime, we’re offering complimentary funnel cakes and a ‘get out of one free’ ticket to anyone who can stomach the ordeal.”
The incident has left many in the community shaken, but thankfully, no one was seriously injured… except for one rider who reportedly suffered a severe case of ” rollercoaster-induced trauma” and will be seeking counseling for the rest of their life.
In related news, Six Flags has announced that they will be offering a new, highly-acclaimed ride: “The Dragon’s Den: Extreme Edition” – featuring a 243-foot drop, a 360-degree loop, and a 100% guarantee that you’ll make it out alive… probably.
