Texas Man Changes Name to Literally Anybody Else in Bold Bid for Presidency
In a shocking turn of events, a Texas man has taken the bold step of legally changing his name to Literally Anybody Else in a bid to run for the highest office in the land – President of the United States. The man, formerly known as Bill Thompson, made the drastic decision after realizing that his chances of becoming the Commander-in-Chief were slim to none under his boring old moniker.
“Who wants to vote for a guy named Bill Thompson? Boring, generic, no pizzazz,” remarked Literally Anybody Else during a press conference where he announced his candidacy. “But Literally Anybody Else? Now that’s a name you can trust to make the tough decisions and lead this country to greatness.”
Friends and family of the newly minted candidate were initially shocked by the sudden name change, with his mother reportedly exclaiming, “Bill, what on earth possessed you to change your name to that ridiculous phrase?” To which Literally Anybody Else responded with a confident smile, “Mom, it’s not just a phrase. It’s a statement. A statement that anyone, literally anybody else, would be a better fit for the presidency than the current options.”
The move to rebrand himself as Literally Anybody Else has not only sparked curiosity but also raised eyebrows among political pundits and voters alike. Many are left wondering what kind of platform and policies a man with such an unconventional name would bring to the table.
“I mean, it’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him,” remarked political analyst Jane Smith, referencing the famous line from the movie ‘Dodgeball’. “But hey, in a world where we’ve had presidents named Barack and Donald, why not Literally Anybody Else?”
Despite the skepticism surrounding his candidacy, Literally Anybody Else is undeterred in his mission to shake up the political landscape and offer a fresh perspective to the American people. His campaign slogan, “Literally Anybody Else for a Better Tomorrow,” has already gained traction on social media, with supporters and critics alike sharing their thoughts on this unorthodox approach to reaching voters.
As the 2024 presidential election draws nearer, all eyes will be on Literally Anybody Else and his bid for the White House. Will his name change be the key to winning over a disillusioned electorate? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure – this election season just got a whole lot more interesting. Whether Literally Anybody Else has what it takes to lead the nation remains to be seen, but one thing is certain – he certainly knows how to make a name for himself.
