**BREAKING: CANINE CRISIS AVERTED AS DOG SURVIVES WEEKS OF ROAMING NEW JERSEY HIGHWAYS, EATING ONLY FRENCH FRIES AND DREAMS**
In a stunning turn of events, a heroic rescue mission was undertaken yesterday as a dog, identified as “Max” by local authorities, was finally saved after an astonishing 37 days of wandering the Garden State’s highways.
According to eyewitnesses, Max, a scrappy little terrier mix, was seen strolling down I-195, dodging 18-wheelers and sniffing out the best fast food joints in the state. Witnesses described the dog as “remarkably resourceful” and “totally not hungry at all.”
“I was driving to the Shore on Friday, and I saw this little guy just chillin’ on the side of the road, eating a discarded bucket of fried clams,” said local resident, Karen Jenkins. “I was like, ‘Is that a dog? Is it a raccoon? Is it a trash panda?’ But then I saw the cute little face, and I was like, ‘Oh, it’s just a dog, being a dog, eating all the snacks’.”
As the days turned into weeks, Max became a beloved fixture on the Jersey Turnpike, with motorists reporting that the dog would often hitch rides with sympathetic truckers, who would feed him an endless supply of French fries and whispered words of encouragement.
“I had no idea he was a superstar,” said Joe Smith, a tractor-trailer driver who gave Max a ride from Newark to Atlantic City. “I just thought he was a regular ol’ dog, but I guess he’s like a canine Forrest Gump or something.”
After being spotted by a particularly vigilant highway patrol officer, Max was finally coaxed into a rescue vehicle, where he was treated to a hero’s welcome: a bowl of kibble, a belly rub, and a complimentary doggy massage.
“Max is a true Jersey boy, through and through,” said Governor Phil Murphy in a statement. “We’re just glad he’s safe and sound, and we’re looking into establishing a new state holiday: ‘National French Fry-Fed Dog Day’.”
As for Max, he’s currently enjoying a well-deserved nap in a cozy animal shelter, where he’s being spoiled rotten by adoring fans and a never-ending supply of snacks.
**UPDATE:** Max’s owners have come forward, and are reportedly “shocked” to discover that their beloved pet had been living his best life on the highways of New Jersey. “We had no idea he was out there, eating all those French fries,” said his owner, Jane Doe. “But honestly, we’re just glad he’s home safe and sound. And also, can someone please explain to us why he’s now obsessed with chasing trucks?”
