**BREAKING: FOWL PLAY ERUPTS IN SUBURBS**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of a quiet Massachusetts neighborhood in stitches, a swarm of feisty wild turkeys chased a hapless mail carrier out of the area, sending him fleeing for his life.
According to eyewitnesses, the drama unfolded on Wednesday afternoon when Mail Carrier Bob Smith, 42, was making his daily rounds in the usually tranquil community of Oakdale. As he approached the Jenkins’ residence, a flock of fierce and fantastically fluffy wild turkeys emerged from the woods, their beady eyes fixed on the unsuspecting postal worker.
“I was just trying to deliver a package to the Jenkins’ house when suddenly, these…these…TURKEY TERRORS descended upon me!” Smith exclaimed in an interview, still shaken. “They were like a feathered frenzy, flapping their wings, gobbling loudly, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. I high-tailed it out of there faster than you can say ‘fowl play’!”
Witnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as the turkeys, estimated to be around a dozen in number, chased Smith down the street, pecking at his heels and sending his mailbag flying.
“It was like they were trying to steal his mail!” laughed Jane Doe, a neighbor who witnessed the commotion. “I’ve never seen anything like it! The turkeys were like a gang of avian thugs, and poor Mr. Smith was their hapless victim!”
As Smith fled for safety, the turkeys allegedly pursued him for several blocks, causing a stir among other residents who were out and about.
“I was just walking my dog when I saw the mailman running for his life,” said another neighbor, Tom Johnson. “I thought it was some kind of prank at first, but then I saw the turkeys and I was like, ‘Whoa, this is for real!'”
Local animal control officers were called to the scene, but by the time they arrived, the turkeys had dispersed, leaving behind a trail of laughter and excitement.
In a statement, a spokesperson for the US Postal Service said, “We take incidents like this very seriously…or at least, we try to. We’re just glad Mr. Smith is safe and sound, and that our mail delivery services will continue uninterrupted – turkey-free, we hope!”
As for Smith, he’s taking the incident in stride, chuckling along with his colleagues at the post office.
“Well, it’s not every day you get chased by a flock of fierce fowl,” he quipped. “But hey, at least I got a good story out of it!”
