**BREAKING: Coyote Caught Chilling in Aldi Fridge, Authorities Baffled**
In a bizarre incident that has left wildlife experts and grocery shoppers alike scratching their heads, a bewildered coyote was discovered lounging on the refrigerated shelf of an Aldi grocery store in the Chicago suburbs on Monday.
According to eyewitnesses, the coyote, estimated to be around 30 pounds and sporting a fetching fur coat, appeared to be browsing the dairy section when it was spotted by a startled store employee.
“I was restocking the yogurt when I saw this…this thing,” said Aldi employee, Karen Jenkins. “At first, I thought it was a really fluffy customer in a onesie, but then I saw its teeth and I was like, ‘Oh no, that’s a coyote!’ I mean, who expects to find a wild animal trying to decide between 2% and whole milk?”
The coyote, identified as “Coco” by store staff, reportedly seemed just as confused as everyone else, meandering around the refrigerated section and knocking over displays of cheese and cold cuts.
“It was like it was trying to find the perfect snack to go with its Sunday roast,” said Chicago Animal Control Officer, Tom Harris. “I mean, who needs a shopping list when you’ve got a keen sense of smell and a taste for adventure?”
After a tense standoff with store staff and wildlife experts, Coco was safely coaxed out of the store and released back into the wild, where it apparently made a beeline for the nearest Starbucks to order a venti iced coffee.
When asked for comment, Aldi officials stated that they would be reviewing their store’s security protocols to prevent future incidents of “unauthorized wildlife shopping sprees.”
In the meantime, Coco has become an unlikely social media sensation, with #CoyoteOnTheLoose trending on Twitter and a Change.org petition to make Coco the official mascot of Aldi.
As for Coco’s future plans, sources close to the coyote say it’s considering a career in food criticism, citing its discerning taste in refrigerated products.
**UPDATE:** Aldi has announced that they will be offering a special “Coyote Discount Day” on all dairy products, in honor of Coco’s unforgettable shopping experience.
