**BREAKING: CANINE CATASTROPHE ROCKS TULSA SUBURBS AS DOG’S LOVE OF CHEWING LEADS TO BLAZING INFERNO**
Tulsa, OK – In a bizarre incident that has left animal control officials and fire marshals scratching their heads, a rambunctious resident of a quiet Tulsa suburb has been identified as the prime suspect in a house fire that ravaged a local home yesterday evening.
According to eyewitnesses, the culprit behind the blaze was none other than 3-year-old Baxter, a lovable but mischievous golden retriever with a penchant for chewing on anything and everything.
“It was like he had a personal vendetta against the kitchen,” said homeowner, Karen Johnson, still shaken by the experience. “One minute he was lying on his dog bed, and the next, flames were licking at the cabinets. It was like he had a PhD in Chaos Theory or something.”
As investigators sifted through the smoldering wreckage, they discovered that Baxter’s innocent-looking teeth had made contact with a seemingly innocuous 9-volt battery, sparking a chain reaction of events that ultimately led to the inferno.
“We’re talking about a dog who can turn a simple chew toy into a raging fire hazard,” said Fire Marshal, Tom Harris. “It’s like he has a sixth sense for finding the one thing in the room that, when chewed, will cause the most destruction.”
Miraculously, no one was injured in the blaze, although Baxter did suffer minor singeing of his whiskers. The canine perpetrator is currently being held for questioning (or rather, being closely monitored for any signs of pyromania).
The incident has left neighbors in stitches, with many taking to social media to poke fun at the hapless hound.
“I mean, who needs a fire starter when you have a dog like Baxter around?” quipped local resident, Sarah Lee. “He’s like a one-dog fire department – minus the fire trucks and hoses, of course.”
As for Baxter, he’s currently enjoying a temporary reprieve from his chew-filled existence, courtesy of a generous offer from a local pet store.
“We’re providing him with an endless supply of chew toys and treats,” said store owner, Mark Davis. “We just hope he doesn’t get any ideas about chewing on the store’s electrical wiring.”
**UPDATE:** Baxter’s owners have announced plans to start a support group for dogs with a history of incendiary behavior. The first meeting is scheduled for next week, with a special guest speaker: a fire extinguisher.
