**BREAKING: Local Man’s Jaw Drops as He Discovers He’s Been Standing in Same Spot for 10 Minutes, Wins $200,000 Lottery Scratch-Off**
COLUMBIA, SC – In a shocking turn of events, 32-year-old Bubba Jenkins of Columbia, SC, has won a whopping $200,000 lottery scratch-off prize, and the circumstances surrounding his victory are nothing short of miraculous.
According to eyewitnesses, Jenkins was standing in the exact same spot outside the Quick Mart on Main St. for a full 10 minutes, contemplating life’s meaning and wondering where it all went wrong, when he decided to scratch off his winning ticket.
“I was just standing there, staring at the wall, trying to remember where I put my keys,” Jenkins said in an exclusive interview. “And then I thought, ‘You know what? I’m gonna scratch this ticket and see if I won.’ I mean, it’s not like I had anything better to do… like, literally, I had nothing better to do.”
As it turns out, Jenkins’ 10-minute standing-still streak was the key to unlocking his good fortune. Insiders claim that the lottery gods were so impressed with Jenkins’ commitment to being stationary that they decided to bestow upon him a life-changing windfall.
“I’ve been working on my ‘stillness’ technique for weeks,” Jenkins boasted. “I’ve been practicing standing in one spot for hours, just waiting for the universe to align in my favor. I mean, it’s all about the art of doing nothing, folks.”
When asked what he plans to do with his newfound wealth, Jenkins exclaimed, “I’m gonna buy a yacht… and a second yacht… and maybe a third one, just in case! And then I’m gonna stand on the dock, staring out at the water, wondering where it all went wrong.”
The $200,000 prize is expected to change Jenkins’ life forever, or at least until he blows it all on unnecessary cat toys and video games. Stay tuned for further updates on this remarkable story of luck, perseverance, and an impressive display of standing-still skills.
