**BREAKING: Prehistoric Predator on the Loose in Maine!**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of rural Maine scratching their heads, a massive tegu lizard, estimated to be the size of a small car, was spotted roaming the streets of Bangor.
Eyewitnesses claim the gargantuan reptile, which appears to be a tegu lizard, was seen strolling down Main Street, sending pedestrians running for cover and dogs yelping in terror.
“I was just sipping my morning coffee when I saw this…this…THING,” said local resident, Agnes Jenkins. “At first, I thought it was a dinosaur, but then I saw it had a funny face and I realized it was just a really big tegu lizard.”
The tegu, reportedly measuring over 4 feet in length and sporting a spiky, armor-plated hide, seems to have escaped from a private collector’s lair.
“I have no idea how it got out,” said collector, Bob Smith. “I swear, I locked the door. Maybe it was aliens. They love tegu lizards, don’t they?”
As authorities scramble to contain the situation, residents are advised to stay indoors and keep a safe distance from the marauding reptile.
“I’ve lived in Maine my whole life, and I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Bangor Mayor, Tom Johnson. “We’re doing our best to catch the beast, but it’s like trying to catch a slippery fish…or a really large tegu lizard.”
Meanwhile, local business owners are capitalizing on the situation, selling “Tegu-sighting” t-shirts and offering “I survived the tegu invasion” discounts.
In related news, the Bangor School District has announced an emergency schedule change, with all students now required to attend school via remote learning…or at least, that’s the plan. The tegu has apparently commandeered the school’s internet connection to binge-watch Netflix.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story!
