**BREAKING: San Francisco Residents Baffled as Giant, Pulsing Laser Beam Descends from Sky, Turns City’s Fog into Disco Party**
San Francisco, CA – In a bizarre incident that has left residents scratching their heads and dancing in the streets, a mysterious laser beam appeared in the sky yesterday evening, bathing the city in a mesmerizing, pulsing glow.
Eyewitnesses described the beam, which was estimated to be over a mile wide, as “a giant, cosmic flashlight” that seemed to emanate from a UFO hovering above the Golden Gate Bridge.
“I was just walking to work when suddenly, the sky lit up like a giant Christmas tree,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I looked up and saw this…this…THING, just hovering there, shooting a laser beam down at the city. I was like, ‘Is this the apocalypse?'”
As the beam swept across the city, residents reported that the fog that normally shrouds San Francisco’s streets began to swirl and dance, taking on a life of its own.
“It was like the fog was possessed!” exclaimed John Smith, a tourist from out of town. “It was spinning around, forming giant vortexes, and even seemed to be playing a rendition of ‘I Will Survive’ on a invisible disco ball.”
The city’s officials were quick to respond to the phenomenon, with Mayor London Breed issuing a statement assuring residents that the beam was “probably just a weird weather thing” and that there was “no need to panic… unless you’re a giant, evil robot, in which case, you should probably panic.”
Meanwhile, the city’s tech giants were quick to capitalize on the situation, with Twitter and Facebook filled with memes and jokes about the “Laser-gate” incident.
“I mean, who needs a boring old fog when you can have a laser-induced disco party?” quipped one Twitter user.
As the city continues to bask in the glow of the mysterious laser, residents are left wondering: will the beam return? And more importantly, will it bring another disco party?
**UPDATE:** The city’s department of public works has announced that they will be installing a new, city-wide disco ball system, citing “you can never have too much disco.”
