**Local “Ghostbusters” Superfan Sets World Record for Most Unnecessary Hoarding, Declares Himself “The Chosen One”**
In a groundbreaking feat that no one asked for, self-proclaimed “Ghostbusters” superfan Bob McGee, 32, from Trapped-in-His-Mom’s-Basement, USA, has officially collected 2,012 pieces of memorabilia. Yes, you read that right—2,012. Because why get a life when you can make the stay-at-home fantasy a full-blown business?
Bob kicked off his mission of obsessive collecting back in the early 2000s when he first recognized that there is, in fact, no greater cause in life than owning every last figurine, poster, and expired promotional item related to the classic 1984 movie—and its less-than-stellar sequels, of course. “It’s not just a movie; it’s a lifestyle,” McGee declared between enthusiastic sips of Ecto Cooler, a drink most people barely remember. “I mean, do people ask me why I haven’t had a girlfriend in a decade? Maybe. But I’m too busy securing my status as the ultimate Ghostbuster.”
One might wonder how someone amasses so many pieces of memorabilia. Could Bob possibly have found items worthy of being called “collectible”? Not really. The collection features quite an assortment, including over 1,000 action figures, an insatiable stack of VHS tapes, and an impressive 300 keychains—because who could possibly choose only one? And let’s not forget the complete set of limited-edition ghost traps, which McGee is absolutely convinced will come in handy during some imaginary haunting.
When asked about his collection methods, Bob boasted of scouring eBay and garage sales like a seasoned treasure hunter on a never-ending quest for thrill. “You wouldn’t believe the bargains I can hunt down,” he said, adjusting his oversized “Slimer” t-shirt from a bygone era. “Just yesterday I picked up a fully intact can of Ecto Cooler from 1989! The best part is, I won’t even drink it! It’ll just sit next to my unopened Stay Puft Marshmallow Man… forever.”
Neighborhood friends have expressed a mixture of pity and bemusement upon hearing about Bob’s impressive collection, stating, “I mean, good for him? He really loves that movie. But I get a little concerned when he insists on showing it to us for the third time this week. It’s like, buddy, we know what happens!”
Bob, however, sees himself as an entertainer. “I’m like the Indiana Jones of ‘Ghostbusters’! Just a leisure-loving archaeologist, saving this history one foam proton pack at a time.” So if you find yourself wandering into McGee’s makeshift shrine of nostalgia, don’t forget to marvel at the wall dedicated to “Slimer” action figures, curated with the utmost care—because, apparently, everyone needs their own Ecto-dedicated Disneyland without ever having to leave their mother’s residence.
As his collection swells, Bob has even launched an official website where he intends to share tips on becoming the ultimate collector and how to expertly fit your life into a single room full of ‘ghostly treasures’.
In conclusion, Bob McGee’s ambitious collection of 2,012 pieces of “Ghostbusters” memorabilia has cemented his place as the shining star among non-dating enthusiasts. Who needs love when the ghosts from your childhood are always ready to entertain on an endless loop? Bravo, Bob. Bravo.
