**BREAKING: ROGUE MONKEY ON THE LOOSE!**
In a daring escape that has left zoo officials baffled and residents of Charlotte, North Carolina, on high alert, a mischievous capuchin monkey broke free from his enclosure at the Carolina Wildlife Park yesterday evening.
Eyewitnesses describe the scene as “absolute chaos” as the quick-witted primate, named Bongo, swung from tree to tree, causing a stir among visitors and locals alike.
“I was just feeding my kids cotton candy when suddenly, this furry little bandit was swinging from the rafters,” said zoo visitor, Karen Johnson. “I mean, I’ve seen some wild things in my time, but this was like something out of a monkey movie!”
According to zoo officials, Bongo, a 5-year-old capuchin monkey, managed to exploit a weak spot in his enclosure, exploiting a gap in the wire mesh that was “no bigger than a mouse hole.”
“We’re not sure how he did it, but we’re reviewing the footage and it appears he was planning this escape for weeks,” said zoo spokesperson, Jane Smith. “I mean, who needs a Houdini-esque escape artist when you’ve got a determined monkey on the loose?”
As authorities scrambled to recapture the errant primate, residents of nearby neighborhoods were warned to be on the lookout for a small, agile monkey with a penchant for bananas and mischief.
“I was just sipping my morning coffee when I saw this tiny, furry creature rummaging through my trash cans,” said local resident, Bob Davis. “I was like, ‘What in the world…?!’ Then I remembered the news about the escaped monkey and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s just Bongo being Bongo!'”
Meanwhile, zoo officials have promised to increase security measures to prevent any future monkey business, while also urging residents to remain calm and carry on.
“We understand that having a rogue monkey on the loose can be a bit unsettling, but we’re working hard to ensure public safety and Bongo’s safe return to his enclosure,” said Smith.
In the meantime, locals are advised to keep a watchful eye on their snacks, as Bongo’s love of bananas and snacks is only rivalled by his love of causing chaos and mayhem.
**UPDATE:** A reward has been offered for information leading to Bongo’s safe capture. If you have any information, please contact the zoo or local authorities. And if you see a monkey in a fedora and sunglasses, please do not approach – just call the monkey authorities (aka the zoo).
