**BREAKING: LOCAL MAN’S OBSESSION WITH WAWA REACHES CRITICAL LEVELS**
MOUNT ROYAL, NJ – In a bizarre tale of devotion, 32-year-old John “Wawa” Williamson has spent the last three years collecting every single order slip from his local Wawa convenience store, and we’re not talking about just any ordinary collecting – we’re talking about a full-blown, obsessive, can’t-get-enough-of-Wawa collecting.
According to sources close to the situation (okay, it was John himself), his quest began in 2020, when he stumbled upon a cryptic message on his Wawa order slip that read: “Collect them all.” Little did he know, those seven words would spark a three-year odyssey of epic proportions.
Using a complex system of categorization, which he claims is “totally not OCD,” John has meticulously organized his collection of 1,000 order slips, each one numbered from 0 to 999. The slips are stored in a custom-built, climate-controlled room in his basement, complete with a Wawa-branded shrine and a “Wawa Museum” sign.
But John’s dedication to his craft doesn’t stop there. He’s developed an intricate system of tracking, which involves a color-coded spreadsheet, a Wawa-themed playlist, and a series of cryptic notes written in invisible ink. When asked about the significance of the number 427, John simply smiled and said, “It’s a game-changer.”
As news of John’s incredible feat spread, Wawa corporate officials were left scratching their heads. “We had no idea our customers were taking our order slips so seriously,” said a Wawa spokesperson. “We’re flattered, but also a little concerned. We didn’t realize our coffee was fueling a full-blown addiction.”
When asked if he plans to display his collection, John proudly declared, “Oh, I’ve already framed them all. It’s a work of art, if I do say so myself. I’ve even hired a team of professional Wawa enthusiasts to help me authenticate each slip.”
As John continues to add to his collection, one thing is clear: this is a man on a mission. When asked what he’ll do when he finally completes his set, John simply grinned and said, “I’ll probably get a tattoo of the Wawa logo on my forehead. And then I’ll start collecting Wawa coffee cups. And then… well, you get the idea.”
In related news, local residents have reported seeing John walking around town with a Wawa-branded backpack, collecting order slips from unsuspecting tourists. When approached for comment, John simply winked and said, “You can never have too many Wawa order slips.”
