**BREAKING: Houston Police Department Overrun by “Furry Menace” as Rats in Lockers Devour Evidence**
In a bizarre and alarming turn of events, the Houston Police Department has been forced to shut down several of its evidence lockers after a massive infestation of rats, allegedly addicted to narcotics, began destroying crucial evidence and leaving a trail of chaos in their wake.
According to sources, the rodents, described as “seething, twitching, and totally out of control,” have been wreaking havoc on the department’s evidence storage facilities, chewing through bags of confiscated contraband and leaving a trail of shredded paper, broken test tubes, and mangled police reports.
“It’s like they’re on a never-ending sugar high,” said a visibly shaken Officer Juan Hernandez, who witnessed the rats in action. “They’re like little furry ninjas, slicing through evidence bags like they’re butter. We’ve never seen anything like it.”
The rats, estimated to be in the hundreds, are believed to have developed a taste for the narcotics stored in the evidence lockers, and have been feeding on the contraband for weeks. The resulting destruction has left police scrambling to recreate lost evidence and re-interview witnesses.
“It’s a total disaster,” said Chief of Police, James Johnson. “We’re talking about critical evidence here – the kind of stuff that can make or break a case. And now, it’s all being destroyed by these…these…I don’t even know what to call them. Rat-zombies?”
As the situation continues to spiral out of control, the Houston Police Department has been forced to call in a team of emergency responders – a group of highly trained rat wranglers, equipped with tiny hazmat suits and an endless supply of cheese.
“We’re doing everything we can to contain the situation,” said a spokesperson for the department. “But honestly, it’s like they’re breeding faster than we can catch them. We’re talking about a full-blown rodent crisis here.”
Meanwhile, local residents are being warned to stay away from the police department’s evidence storage facilities, as the rats are reportedly becoming increasingly aggressive and desperate.
“We’ve had reports of rats jumping out of the evidence rooms and scurrying down the streets,” said Hernandez. “It’s like they’re forming some kind of rodent mafia. We’re talking about a serious public health crisis here.”
In a bizarre twist, local animal control officials have reported a surge in requests for rat-catching services, with many residents complaining of “rat infestations” in their homes and businesses.
“It’s like they’re migrating,” said animal control officer, Karen Brown. “We’re getting calls left and right about rats in attics, rats in basements, rats in kitchen sinks. It’s like they’re taking over the city.”
As the situation continues to unfold, one thing is clear: the city of Houston is facing a rodent epidemic of epic proportions, and it’s going to take a lot more than just cheese to solve the problem.
