**BREAKING: CALIFORNIA MAN WINS LOTTERY… AGAIN… AND AGAIN… AND PROBABLY AGAIN TOMORROW**
In a shocking turn of events that has left mathematicians and lottery officials baffled, a California man has won the jackpot… NOT ONCE… NOT TWICE… BUT THRICE in the span of just 48 hours!
John “Lucky” Larson, 32, of Los Angeles, was still basking in the glory of his $10 million Powerball win on Tuesday when he turned around and scooped up another $5 million in a separate drawing on Wednesday.
But wait, there’s more! Larson, who has apparently become human embodiment of the word “hot streak,” then proceeded to win ANOTHER $20 million in a Mega Millions drawing on Thursday.
“I just can’t believe it,” said Larson, who was seen wearing a ‘I’m with stupid’ t-shirt with an arrow pointing to himself. “I mean, I’ve heard of people winning the lottery, but this is just ridiculous. I’m starting to think I have a PhD in luck.”
According to lottery officials, Larson’s winning tickets were purchased at the same 7-Eleven convenience store in suburban LA, where he apparently has a permanent reservation at the coffee machine.
“We’re starting to think that store is like a lottery ticket-dispensing ATM,” said a Lottery spokesperson. “We’re considering sending a team of scientists to study the phenomenon.”
Larson’s wife, Jane, was seen crying tears of joy while simultaneously counting down their new combined net worth on her fingers. “We’re going to buy a yacht… and a private island… and maybe a few lottery tickets for good measure,” she exclaimed.
When asked for comment, Larson simply shrugged and said, “Hey, you gotta be in it to win it, right?”
**UPDATE**: Larson has just been spotted buying a McMansion, a private jet, and a timeshare in Atlantis. Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story… or not. We’re just going to assume he’ll win the lottery again tomorrow.
