**BREAKING: Middletown, CT ERUPTS IN PIZZA FRENZY AS 4,572 PEOPLE DEVOUR 9,127 SLICES IN RECORD-BREAKING PIZZA PARTY EXTRAVAGANZA**
In a jaw-dropping display of carb-loading, the city of Middletown, Connecticut, has officially shattered the Guinness World Record for the largest pizza party, leaving a trail of crumbs, cheese dust, and collective food comas in its wake.
On Saturday, a staggering 4,572 people gathered in the city’s central park, forming a sea of sauce-stained faces and pizza-loving enthusiasts. The crowd went wild as 9,127 slices of piping hot, cheesy goodness were dished out, sending the party into orbit.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Middletown Mayor, John Smith, his voice hoarse from shouting over the din of happy chatter. “The streets ran red with marinara, the air was thick with the scent of melted mozzarella, and our residents’ stomachs are still recovering from the onslaught of savory goodness.”
The record-breaking bash, which was months in the making, featured an army of pizza vendors, a fleet of food trucks, and a special appearance by a 10-foot-tall, animatronic pizza mascot named “Pie-Zar.” The mascot, which was powered by a team of confused-looking engineers, danced the Macarena while firing confetti cannons and chanting “PIZZA PARTY, PIZZA PARTY!”
As the crowd chowed down on slice after slice, a team of Guinness World Records officials monitored the proceedings, taking meticulous notes and measuring the sheer scale of the pizza party.
“We’re thrilled to confirm that Middletown, Connecticut, has set a new standard for pizza party excess,” said a Guinness representative, beaming with pride. “The city’s dedication to cheesy, saucy, carb-loaded chaos is an inspiration to pizza lovers everywhere.”
When asked about the secret to their success, Mayor Smith credited the city’s “unwavering commitment to pizza, a healthy dose of gluttony, and an emergency stash of Tums.”
As the party drew to a close, attendees stumbled out of the park, their bellies full, their faces smeared with tomato sauce, and their taste buds singing in harmony. It was clear that Middletown, Connecticut, had earned its place in the annals of pizza history.
**UPDATE:** The city’s residents have been advised to stay hydrated, avoid strenuous activity for the next 48 hours, and consider investing in some stretchy pants.
