**BREAKING: GOAT ON THE LOOSE!**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of north Wheat Ridge in stitches, a pair of mischievous goats broke free from their owner’s property and led police on a wild hoof chase through the neighborhood yesterday evening.
The Great Goat Escape, as it’s being called, began when 3-year-old Billy and 2-year-old Nibbles, two rambunctious goats, managed to slip through a hole in the fence of their enclosure on Tabor Street. The duo, described as “fleet-footed and cunning,” made a beeline for freedom, leaving a trail of chaos and laughter in their wake.
Police were quickly called to the scene, but they soon found themselves in a high-speed pursuit – or rather, a high-speed hoof-chase – as they tried to corral the agile goats.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Officer Jenny Johnson, who was part of the chasing party. “These goats were like a couple of getaway drivers, dodging cars and leaping over obstacles with ease. We were hot on their heels, but they were always one hoof ahead!”
The chase wound its way through the neighborhood, with the goats weaving in and out of backyards, under parked cars, and even through a narrow alleyway. Witnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium,” with some even snapping photos and videos of the caprine fugitives.
“I was just walking home from the grocery store when I saw these two goats tearing down the sidewalk,” said local resident, Karen Thompson. “I couldn’t believe my eyes! I mean, who expects to see goats in a suburban neighborhood, let alone being chased by the police?”
After a thrilling 10-block pursuit, the goats finally tired themselves out and were apprehended in a vacant lot near 120th Avenue. Their owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, was summoned to the scene to collect her errant livestock.
When asked for comment, the owner simply shook her head and chuckled, “Those two are always getting into trouble. I guess you could say they’re a handful – or should I say, a hoof-ful?”
The two goats are currently facing charges of reckless endangerment, disorderly conduct, and being generally too cute for their own good. They are being held at a local animal shelter pending a court appearance.
In related news, the Wheat Ridge Police Department is considering offering a new training course: “Goat Wrangling 101 – Because You Never Know When You’ll Need It.”
