**BREAKING: BISON ON THE LOOSE! CONNECTICUT RESIDENTS, BE ON THE LOOKOUT!**
In a bizarre incident that has left authorities baffled and residents bewildered, three feisty bison have escaped from a local farm and are currently roaming free in the streets of Connecticut.
According to eyewitnesses, the trio of bovine fugitives was last spotted charging down Main Street in the quaint town of Greenwich, sending pedestrians running for cover and leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.
“I was just walking to the coffee shop when suddenly, I was face-to-face with a 2,000-pound ball of fur and fury,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some wild things in my time, but this was like something out of a movie. I high-tailed it out of there faster than you can say ‘moo’!”
The bison, described as “larger than life” and “possessed of a bad attitude,” are believed to be on the loose in several towns across Fairfield County, leaving a path of chaos and confusion in their wake.
“It’s like they’re trying to take over the state or something,” said Connecticut State Police spokesperson, Officer John Smith. “We’ve had reports of them knocking over trash cans, scattering livestock, and even attempting to hijack a school bus. We’re doing our best to catch them, but these bison are like the Three Amigos on steroids!”
As the search continues, residents are advised to stay indoors and keep a safe distance from any roaming bison. Authorities are urging anyone with information on the whereabouts of the marauding mammals to come forward.
Meanwhile, local farmers are offering a reward for the safe capture of the bison, who are reportedly demanding organic snacks and a 24-hour Netflix subscription in exchange for their surrender.
**IF YOU SEE THESE BISON, DO NOT APPROACH THEM. CALL THE AUTHORITIES IMMEDIATELY. AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, DO NOT OFFER THEM ANY AVOCADO TOAST.**
