**BREAKING: Central Market in Austin, Texas, Shatters Guinness World Record with Behemoth Charcuterie Board**
In a jaw-dropping display of epicurean excess, Central Market in Austin, Texas, has officially entered the record books by assembling a gargantuan charcuterie board that tips the scales at a mind-boggling 1,032 pounds of meats, cheeses, and other qualifying ingredients.
Eyewitnesses claim that the board, which measured a staggering 20 feet long and 4 feet wide, was so massive that it required a forklift to move it into place. The crowd went wild as the board was unveiled, with onlookers marveling at the sheer scope of the edible monstrosity.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said local foodie, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve had some big charcuterie boards in my day, but this one was like a small island. I half expected to see a flock of seagulls flying overhead.”
The record-breaking board, which took a team of 10 people to assemble, featured an astonishing array of cured meats, including 300 pounds of prosciutto, 200 pounds of salami, and 150 pounds of ham. Cheese lovers rejoiced at the sight of 100 pounds of creamy brie, 50 pounds of tangy feta, and 20 pounds of pungent gouda.
But that was just the beginning. The board also boasted an impressive selection of crackers, garnishes, and spreads, including 50 jars of artisanal jam, 20 baskets of fresh fruit, and 10 gallons of crudités.
“We’re thrilled to have broken the record,” said Central Market spokesperson, John Smith. “Our team worked tirelessly to create this masterpiece, and we’re proud to say that it’s a true Texas-sized achievement.”
The previous record holder for largest charcuterie board was a group in Paris, France, which assembled a board weighing in at 800 pounds. Central Market’s board more than doubled that record, cementing Austin’s reputation as a foodie paradise.
When asked what inspired the team to attempt the record, Smith simply shrugged and said, “Why settle for a small board when you can go big or go home, right?”
The charcuterie board will be on display at Central Market for the next week, where it will be enjoyed by shoppers and Instagram enthusiasts alike. So, if you’re in the area, be sure to stop by and try to wrap your arms around this behemoth of a board. Just don’t forget to bring your stretchy pants!
