**BREAKING: SNAKE SHOCKER!**
In a bizarre incident that has left authorities and motorists alike hissing with laughter, a highway driver claimed she was attacked by a venomous tiger snake that slithered up her leg while she was driving on the freeway.
According to eyewitnesses, the woman, who wishes to remain anonymous (but let’s be real, she’s already a local legend), pulled her car over to the side of the road, where she proceeded to frantically dance on one leg while shrieking at the top of her lungs.
“I was driving by and saw her jumping up and down like a crazy person,” said fellow motorist, Jane Doe. “At first, I thought she was just having a bad hair day or something, but then I saw her pointing at her leg and screaming, ‘SNAKE! SNAKE! IT’S EATING ME ALIVE!’ I was like, ‘Girl, what’s going on?!'”
Police arrived on the scene to find the woman still hopping on one foot, her eyes wide with terror. “We asked her what happened, and she told us that a tiger snake had somehow managed to climb up her leg and was now residing in her underwear,” said Officer Bob Smith. “We were skeptical at first, but then we saw the look on her face and decided to take her seriously. I mean, who doesn’t take a snake-in-the-pants claim seriously, right?”
As officers investigated the scene, they found no evidence of a snake, but did discover a few crumbs from a chocolate bar and a used tissue. “We’re still searching for the snake, but it’s possible it may have slithered away in search of better accommodations,” said Officer Smith.
The woman was taken to a local hospital as a precaution, where she was treated for shock and released with a clean bill of health. When asked for comment, she simply shook her head and muttered, “I’m never driving again. Or wearing pants. Or underwear. Or… you know what, I’m just going to stay home and watch Netflix.”
The incident has left many in the community wondering if the woman might have been, ahem, “snake-bitten” in a different way. As one resident quipped, “Well, at least she’s got a good excuse for not showing up to work tomorrow!”
In related news, local pet stores are reporting a surge in sales of snake-repellent underwear.
