**BREAKING: BEAR’S SUGAR FUELED RAMPAGE HITS TENNESSEE TOWN**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of Sweetwater, Tennessee in stitches, a bear with a serious sweet tooth was caught on camera wandering into the local candy store, “Sugar Rush,” in search of free samples.
According to eyewitnesses, the bear, estimated to be around 500 pounds of pure, unadulterated fluff, strolled into the store through the front door, sending candy jars crashing to the floor and customers running for cover.
“I was just minding my own business, trying to pick out some gummies, when suddenly this massive bear comes lumbering in,” said local resident, Tim Johnson. “I mean, I’ve seen some big bears in my time, but this one was like a giant, furry, sugar-crazed monster!”
The bear, who has been identified as “Bertram” by local wildlife officials, apparently had a weakness for all things sugary. Witnesses claim he made a beeline for the gummy bear display, where he proceeded to sample (read: devour) an entire jar of squishy, sugary goodness.
“I swear, it was like he had a sixth sense for finding the candy,” said store owner, Emily Wilson. “He was like a bear-nado, tearing through our store, leaving a trail of destruction and sugar highs in his wake.”
Bertram’s sugar-fueled rampage lasted for approximately 10 minutes, during which time he managed to sample everything from lollipops to licorice whips. Witnesses claim he even did a few laps around the store, dodging candy displays and leaping over obstacles like a furry, four-legged ninja.
“It was like he was in a sugar-induced trance,” said Wilson. “I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m just glad no one was hurt… except for maybe my candy stash.”
Bertram was eventually coaxed out of the store by a team of wildlife experts, who sedated him and relocated him to a nearby forest. As he was being led away, he was seen clutching a giant lollipop and sporting a telltale sugar high.
The incident has left residents of Sweetwater in stitches, with many calling for the bear to be given his own candy-themed TV show.
“I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch a bear on a sugar high?” laughed Johnson. “It’s like the ultimate entertainment!”
In related news, “Sugar Rush” candy store has announced plans to offer a new “Bear-Sized” candy discount for customers who come dressed as Bertram.
