**BREAKING: WILD BOAR WREAKS HAVOC ON SUBURBAN HOME, DEMANDS SNACKS AND NETFLIX PASSWORD**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of Oakdale, USA, in a state of utter pandemonium, a marauding wild boar crashed through the sliding glass door of a local homeowner’s residence and proceeded to make itself at home.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute chaos” as the porcine invader, estimated to be around 300 pounds of pure, unadulterated fury, burst into the house, sending shards of glass flying everywhere and leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.
“I was just sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when suddenly this…this…THING came barreling through the door,” said homeowner, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird stuff in my time, but this was on a whole other level. It was like something out of a horror movie, but with more tusks and less plot.”
The wild boar, who has been identified as “Boris” by local animal control, apparently had no intention of causing harm, but rather seemed to be searching for something – or someone.
“I think it was looking for the fridge,” said Doe. “It went straight for the kitchen and started rooting around in the cabinets. I was like, ‘Uh, dude, I think you’re in the wrong house if you’re looking for food.'”
But Boris was not to be deterred. After helping himself to a bag of potato chips and a half-eaten pizza, the boar made himself comfortable on the living room couch, where he proceeded to binge-watch an entire season of “Stranger Things” on Netflix.
“I was like, ‘How is this even possible?'” said Doe. “I mean, I’ve heard of people using their Roku, but this was on a whole other level. It was like it had a Ph.D. in streaming services.”
As authorities worked to safely escort Boris from the premises, the boar reportedly demanded to know the password to the homeowner’s Netflix account.
“I was like, ‘Dude, I don’t think that’s how it works,'” said Doe. “But he just kept saying ‘password, password, password’ like it was some kind of mantra. I was starting to get a little worried, to be honest.”
In the end, Boris was coaxed out of the house with a plate of fresh cookies and a promise to provide him with his own Netflix account.
As for Doe, she’s just happy to have made it through the ordeal with her sanity (mostly) intact.
“I mean, it’s not every day you get to say you had a wild boar crash your house and demand snacks,” she said with a laugh. “But hey, at least the pizza was good, right?”
