**BREAKING: WHALE APOCALYPSE STRIKES NEW HAMPSHIRE COAST!**
In a heart-stopping, jaw-dropping, and fin-tastic display of aquatic acrobatics, a gargantuan whale launched itself out of the depths of the ocean and **CRASHED INTO A FISHING BOAT**, sending two unsuspecting fishermen flying into the drink off the coast of New Hampshire on Tuesday!
The drama unfolded at approximately 3:14 AM, when the behemoth sea creature, estimated to be a whopping **50 FEET LONG AND 20 TONS HEAVY**, rose up out of the darkness like a leviathan from the depths of the underworld and **SMASHED INTO THE TINY FISHING VESSEL**, causing it to **CAPSIZE IN A MATTER OF SECONDS**!
Miraculously, the two occupants of the doomed vessel, identified as 32-year-old Bubba Jenkins and his trusty sidekick, 29-year-old Larry McLobsterface, managed to escape with their lives, albeit with a healthy dose of **SEAWATER LUNGS** and **FISH-SCALE-SHOCK**.
“It was like something out of a disaster movie!” exclaimed Bubba, still shaken by the ordeal. “One minute we’re out here trying to catch some dinner, and the next thing we know, we’re swimming with the fishes…literally!”
As the two survivors clung to a life raft, they reported that the whale, which they described as a ” massive, grey, fishy freight train”, **SEEMED TO BE TAUNTING THEM**, breaching the surface and **PERFORMING A SERIES OF FLIPS AND TWISTS**, as if celebrating its victory over the hapless fishing boat.
The U.S. Coast Guard, alerted to the distress call, **SCRAMBLED A TEAM OF ELITE RESCUERS**, who bravely battled 20-foot waves and **SWARMING SCHOOLS OF PIRANHAS** to reach the shaken duo.
“We’re just glad that Bubba and Larry are safe and sound,” said a Coast Guard spokesperson. “And we’re urging all fishermen to be on the lookout for any more **ROGUE WHALES** in the area.”
The incident has left the small coastal community reeling, with many residents **DEMANDING STRONGER WHALE-PROOFING MEASURES** to prevent similar incidents in the future.
In related news, the local seafood market has reported a **SURGE IN DEMAND FOR WHALE-SHAPED LIFE PRESERVERS**.
